I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So vagazzling was a success
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
