the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
