he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
