That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize