tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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