i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
