im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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