All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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