If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
