We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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