Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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