Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
