yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I got her a Nickelback box set.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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