I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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