Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize