of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My vagina is very pro this idea
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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