my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
