like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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