Redeem this text for a blowjob
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just found puke in my bra..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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