Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my phone needs a breathalizer
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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