Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
