another moral hangover. fuck.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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