I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
