halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
