I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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