remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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