Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
