Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
