Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
