Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
