I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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