Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
