States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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