My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pants are for mortals
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