i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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