he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
