He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
