You're so nebulous sometimes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
