He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize