Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
