Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
