perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
