apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize