DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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