covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dick very happy bro
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
