I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
