You work out of a Hotel?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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