would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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