Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
