Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
