Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
