Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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