Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
