C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
