so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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