You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
