haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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