Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
