susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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