Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
