Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
