dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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