God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize