I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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